Just another emo night

It’s been a while since I wrote in this thing. Haha. I’ll still be on hiatus after this, but I’m just writing because I really need to get some things out.

Well, everything has been going great lately. I think things are finally beginning to work out and I’m really glad. I’m sure everyone can be happy now.

Despite all this, I still get depressed at times for the stupidest reasons. I really think I should be more understanding. I wait everyday at lunch for him hoping that he’ll come and hang out. He does come at times, but I get all depressed and upset when he doesn’t come. To think of it, I don’t even know if we’ll talk that much even if he does come. He makes me happy when we hang out or talk a little at lunch..he really does, but I just get so nervous sometimes that I can’t even talk. I know that we won’t talk a lot, yet I still want him to come during lunch and I get depressed when he doesn’t. I’ve realized what a hypocrite I am.

Sometimes I just get so absorbed in all this that I think he’ll come everyday. I’ve just snapped back into reality recently and I tried looking at things at a more realistic perspective. I think he would rather spend his lunch with his friends rather than with some girl he barely knows or talks to. Actually, I know so. I just get so nervous when I’m around him that I don’t know what to talk about. I just don’t want to make a fool out of myself so I stay quiet…just like last year. I always get depressed and upset at things that I’ve created for myself. I don’t even have the right to be sad. I brought all this to myself anyways.

I finally found the guts to say hi to him when we see each other, but I feel that he doesn’t want to see me at times and I just get paranoid about that. I’ve been feeling scared and upset lately because of that too. I’m even considering not saying hi anymore in front of his friends. Even tonight, when he signed on AIM, I felt a bit hesitant about IMing him and eventually I just didn’t do anything. I apologize for being so whiny but I’m just a person who is easily paranoid.

I really think I shouldn’t get my hopes so high right away every time. The same thing happened last time and it only led me to disappointment. I was just so overjoyed last week because of him and now that I haven’t seen him for a few days, I’m getting upset and paranoid. I know these are all stupid reasons, but it’s just what’s bothering me right now.

-Winnie

Hiatus

I won’t be writing in this thing for a while. I’ve been getting a lot of homework lately and I have a huge religion project to work on so I really don’t have the time to write in here everyday. I’ll be on hiatus for a short while until my religion project is done at least. I’ll write when I have time, but otherwise I’m taking a break. There hasn’t been much going on lately anyways.

I’ll write again as soon as possible. I would really like to write about my days right now, but I’ve just been so busy and tired that I haven’t been in the mood. My apologies. I wished I had less work to do because I really love writing in here.   Again, I will write again as soon as I have time.

-Winnie 

To Jenman and Shu

To Jenman and Shu:

11/28/07

Woot! 

Love you guys. Best wishes.

Cold

Cold, cold, cold. I didn’t have time to write last night since I went to this dinner banquet thing with my mom, uncles, and aunts and by the time I got back, it was already 10:30 or so. I was really tired too since I slept around 2 studying the other night. I hate Thursdays. Seriously.

So quick recap of yesterday:

It was raining nonstop yesterday. My feet were soaked since there were huge puddles everywhere. My jeans got wet too so everyone was asking what happened to them. It looked like I wet my pants or something. Nice. The day seemed to pass by really fast yesterday. We just sat around the bleachers for tennis and watched this movie at Mandarin. Took a test at History and took a quiz at Chemistry. Watched a little of Julius Caesar and read some more. Learned a new lesson at Math.

I went to the library after school though I didn’t even do any homework. I just kept playing hide and seek with Jenman and Shu. I think the libarian got suspicious because he kept following Jenman around. He got mad at Chubs, Shu and the others too. I think what Tai Lun said was right. They ARE on his blacklist. Oh well. He was a bit creepy.

I went to this dinner banquet with my family last night. Everything was free so YES! My uncle made me like take 7-8 pictures. So troublesome. I got a vase filled with carnations and this floating globe thing. It’s so hard to make the globe float.

It’s so cold now. My hands and fingers are freezing as I type this.

I was out for almost the whole day today. I got a new haircut though. I cut off like three inches of my hair and I cut my bangs a little too.

I didn’t even start on my homework yet. I should start soon. I have to do my English project too. Poo.

BUT Winter Concert next Friday! Woot!

-Winnie