One of the kittens wasn’t eating last night. He looked sick and he wouldn’t move much. He kept following me around whenever I was 7 feet or so away from him. It just hurt me so bad to see him like that. I stayed with him until dark until he went inside this little kitty box my dad made for him.

He died today. He was barely alive in the morning and it just broke my heart. I haven’t cried that hard since three months ago. I never experienced the loss of someone/something that was very close to me. I know a lot of people usually say “well death happens” and I used to think the same way mainly because I never experienced the pain of death. It’s very different when you experience it first hand. I just don’t know how to cope with it.

I love animals. I loved them ever since I was a little girl even though most of my family either hates them/are very neutral about them. The cats also came into my life during a period where I was heartbroken and semi-depressed so I’ve become emotionally attatched to them. Some people might say “oh, it was just a cat”, but it’s different when you’re attatched to that cat. Sure, there are still two kittens left, but it won’t be the same without Sydney.

Thinking back, he was always the smaller/skinner one compared to the other two kittens. My dad said he never ate much so he probably didn’t develop a good immune system. My mom said it’s how nature is. Sydney was weak so it’s only natural that he died. I just can’t find the right words to describe all the emotions I’m feeling right now. I understand that he’s dead, but I just feel so heartbroken.

R.I.P. Sydney 6/21/08

-Winnie