I guess I’ve been super bored lately or maybe it’s because I keep listening to nostalgic/depressing songs, but I’ve been having weird, uncomfortable thoughts. I’ve been wondering why things just can’t stay permanent. A lot of things are just temporary and I guess I don’t really like that. Even if something bad were to stay with me forever, I’ll learn how to live with it. I’ve realized I don’t like this on and off feeling I’ve been experiencing for some time now. I’m bad at coping with changes (death, loss, you get the picture).

It’s a bit ironic how I dislike change so much and yet I’ve noticed how I, myself have been changing. I don’t know how to explain it, but I just don’t care about the things I used to care about anymore. When some people come up to me and talk to me about their problem (most of them have impossible solutions), I just secretly want to tell them to just deal with the problem. All in all, I’ve just been getting angry at people for whining/complaining to me only when they need me and I really don’t care what they have to say when they message me on AIM or anything. Maybe this is partly due to the fact that I just want to be happy without ANY dramatic interruptions. When I try to listen to someone talk about their problems, they don’t seem to want to listen to me talk about mine. Very annoying, irritating, (just come up with all the enraged adjectives you can use to explain this situation). Well, I guess I don’t mind that much. I’ve developed a habit for not talking out my problems to other people anyway. I just dislike self-centered people (I’m guessing most of us do). Okay, I’m done ranting.

So…I have a high frequency SAT quiz tomorrow on quite a few words. My verbal teacher decided to not tell us and I just found out from my reading comprehension teacher today. Yeah, I love you too ACI. Thankfully, I know more than half the words so I guess that counts for something? Well, July 4th on Friday so I get a three day weekend. Sweet!

-Winnie

School ended yesterday and we all spent the day at Ricky’s house like usual until 8:30-9:00. It doesn’t really feel like summer. I guess the feeling will come pretty soon though.

I think I was super depressed or something the other day because I was thinking about deleting this thing. Now that I think about it, I think I was just being crazy. I don’t think I’ll be deleting this thing anytime soon. It’s too fun writing in here. I’LL NEVER ABUSE YOU AGAIN, MY DEAREST WORDPRESS.

I went out with my cousins today to watch Zohan. My aunt gave us 50 bucks (awesome!) to pay for the tickets, food and drinks and everything. We were originally suppose to watch Kung-Fu Panda, but my cousin said her friend thought it was stupid so we ended up watching Zohan instead. The movie was okay. It was funny, but my cousins thought it was kind of stupid. I wouldn’t have mind if we watched Kung-Fu Panda. After the movie, we went to Tea Station and ate a whole lot of food. I didn’t have room for dinner after I got home so I just skipped it for tonight.

I went outside my backyard to take some pictures of flowers and the whatnot and I just so happened to see the kittens running around and hiding. Keiichi (the grey one) is still pretty shy. He stares at you for a while and just runs away. I think he’s a little scaredy cat, but he’s cute that way. Sydney (the black one) isn’t shy at all. He would just sit down in front of me and have a little staring contest with me for a long while and that’s why I was able to take a couple of shots of him. He just has these piercing green-yellow eyes, but then again, most cats do. I’ve just never seen the eyes up so close in real life though.

My best friend’s leaving for China tonight for one month. It makes me so sad. I think she’s already on the plane right now. I’ll miss you Jenny. Have a good/fun trip and bring home a big, giant panda for me.

-Winnie

Wow, it’s almost been a month since I’ve written in this thing! I’ve been so busy with AP studying, homework, anime, and Photoshop that I just run out of time to actually post up journal entries. Ahahah.

Well, first thing’s first. The inner weeaboo in me has once again awakened and I’m watching anime nonstop like crazy now. I’ve actually stopped watching it since the summer of 8th grade which was about 2 years ago, but I recently got into it again. I love Katekyo Hitman Reborn! I went insane and watched like 80 episodes within two weeks so now I have to wait a whole week just to watch a subbed episode.

My friend recently got me into manga coloring lately too. I must agree with him-it’s like a drug. I really enjoy coloring my favorite manga scans even though I suck at shading. We even made a DeviantArt account and posted some of our finished works. After the AP test, I’m going to color like crazy. Photoshop is so wonderful. Awesome!

Okay, finally…my AP test is tomorrow! Wish me luck! :X I get to skip math tomorrow but my teacher’s making me stay after school to take my chapter 11 test. Evil. Pure evil. I can’t even color manga tonight which makes me so angry/blue. A mixture, I guess. Ahahaha. Well, I guess I’ll look at the bright side. My world history teacher is throwing us an ice cream party tomorrow, I get to skip 4 periods, and I probably won’t get much homework so that means more time for coloring manga! Ahaha, I am seriously addicted.

I’m in love with the Katekyo Hitman Reborn 3rd ending. It’s called Echo Again by Splay. Unfortunately, I can only find the translation for the TV size, but I guess it’s better than nothing. I love this song, especially the lyrics. They’re just very nostalgic and heartbreaking.

Echo Again by Splay

The moon Shines through my window
from between the tall sky scrapers
I tried reciting out loud
The letter you sent me from so far away
When I close my eyes, I can see you
For an instant you say goodbye
Enduring the long nights, I long to see you more
Wanting to touch you more….
You’re the only one who can erase
the darkness inside me
All i can tell you I’m sure
I dont want to miss you anymore
The more I long for you, the more it echoes again

-Winnie

This weekend was very good. I finished my homework by Saturday and I spent my Saturday night and Sunday playing StepMania. That game is so addicting. I love it. I also finished my whole bag of Reeses mini’s in two days. I think that’s a new record for me.

So me and my buddy got addicted to Caramelldansen over the weekend and we’re planning to do the dance sometime around summer. I love that song.

I’m trying to sort out my mind stories so I’m a little distracted. I’ll write some more tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or sometime after that.

-Winnie

I’m sorry about what happened. Lala~

I’m afraid to tell you this, but you are not the one. When I fall in love someone, I want it to grow like grass. She will understand me and I will love her more than anything. Lala~

I am sorry. I hope we can still talk and be friends after this. Lala~

The dream was really pretty actually. It was bright and sunny with butterflies, but the letter ruined it. Good thing I woke up.

Pretty good day today. I didn’t do much during my classes for some reason so it was pretty cool. I don’t have too much homework today either. Nice!

Lunch was pretty awesome too. I ran away with Armando from Peter after he threatened to kill Armando. I was really jumpy too for some reason.

After school was fun too. I played hide-and-seek and ran around the whole school. Awesome day.

-Winnie

I just went back to school yesterday. Eck. I could do with another week.

I have a test everyday in Chemistry starting next week. I am so excited. Today was an okay day. It was pretty easy actually. I didn’t do much in my classes and finished my homework pretty early today! Woot! My internet was messed up again though so I couldn’t go online until 8. Poo.

I had a disturbingly, neutral dream today about a letter. I still remember what it said and it’s been kind of haunting me all day. Well, I woke up around 4:30 A.M. or so from the dream and what better way to deal with a bad dream than listening to your iPod, hmm? I listened to some happy songs for about five minutes and went back to sleep. It was the weirdest feeling.

My mouse has been acting kind of weird lately. I think I might need to get a new one. It’s getting sort of hard to maneuver and I’m too lazy to solve the problem. It’s an old mouse anyways.

This is actually the first time in a while that I’ve actually written a normal, non-depressing post, huh? I like this feeling of half-happiness, and half-neutralness.

-Winnie

Pretty shitty day today.

I’m just glad I have Rilo Kiley to listen to on bad days like this.

-Winnie

GREAT DAY!

-Winnie

1*22*73

Finished most of my homework yesterday. Went shopping today even though I’m going to go again soon. Haha. Got a load of crap.

My CD’s finally arrived yesterday. Yippie! I haven’t listened to them one on one yet though. I just got addicted to this song from one of the albums I downloaded a while ago.

Feeling really sluggish. Don’t feel like writing that much today.

-Winnie 

Inda

I’m feeling better after listening to Ken Oak Band non-stop yesterday. The day didn’t start off so great, but it got better toward the end. I have a lot of mixed emotions right now, but in a good way. I don’t really think I can describe how I’m feeling at the moment.

Inda by Ken Oak Band

She’s come full circle
I’m here at square one
She can do what she wants
I’m trying to do what she’s done
So now it seems that I’m ready
For you, so have we begun?

The universe is full of
Reflections but you have eyes
That can see in another dimension
All the things that I’ve tried to hide
All my thoughts are just useful thinking
You found time to think of me
I guess it’s true what they say in this lifetime
You just might find the thing that you need

You say that we’re moving forward
Faster than we really know
Your laughter slowly takes over
Your confidence I’ll never know

The universe is full of
Reflections but you have eyes
That can see in another dimension
All the things that I’ve tried to hide
All my thoughts are just useful thinking
You found time to think of me
I guess it’s true what they say in this lifetime
You just might find the thing that you need

Songs can put your feelings into words.

-Winnie